Is there an application for downward dog?

The day was going so well when I arranged to meet Doom at Yoga Santosha, studio at noon. As usual I was a few minutes late and I could feel my heart thumping as I ran towards the building. Outwardly, though I hoped I portrayed an air of calm and grace as I walked in and removed my shoes. Doom was sitting in the reception area filling out a form. He seemed to have absorbed the tranquility of the room as he smiled serenely up at me. This was to be his first ever yoga practice in a studio amongst other people and like most things he seemed to take this in his stride. I don’t know about you, but it seems a lot of guys (and some ladies) are still very resistant to the idea of yoga. A few fellows I know guffaw and recoil just at the thought of reaching for their toes even if explained the numerous and diverse benefits of yoga. They seem to think you have to be in shape and have the ability to turn oneself into a pretzel. Then there’s all that Om-ing they’ve seen somewhere and that’s just a little too weird for them.

Happily this is not the case with Doom but the only other time he has knowingly practiced yoga is in the living room of our house, in front of the TV doing upward dog and downward dogs to a Gaiam DVD. (In our previous apartment, we were squeezed in-between the furniture and trying not to knock into anything in the living room and kitchen area).
  We were the last ones of course to enter the studio and we jumped right in to a series of Sun Salutations. There is something about the energy of others, the atmosphere of the room and a live instructor paying you some personal attention that seems to make the practice of yoga so much deeper and leaves you with a feeling of lightness and wholeness that isn’t so easily attained on the carpet at home.  The look on Doom’s face at the end of the class told me he felt the same way before we separated into the changing rooms.

Attached to his iPhone everywhere Doom goes

That was until I heard a crash on the hardwood floor followed by an anguished moan from Doom. Out in the reception area he was examining his iPhone. The screen was smashed and there was no display. It looked bad. Very bad. But I kinda thought serves him right.; he’s always on his iPhone doing something or another and could he not at least wait until we were out of the building before he had to fiddle with it again. He practically sleeps with the bloody thing. But then I felt bad about his prized possession as he told the yoga instructor it had fallen out of his fleece jacket pocket he was he putting on in the changing room. 

Search Amazon.com for iphone covers and cases 

He was obviously full of conflicted emotion. As he himself described it, he was feeling very “Zen-ed out” up until the flying iPhone incident. His composure surprisingly still seemed somewhat zoned out but it was slowly being replaced by the realization that his favorite contraption was FUBAR. The yoga instructor pointed us in the direction of an Apple store but we hightailed it to a Rogers’ store to see if the phone was replaceable.

No such luck, even if they did replace them, which wasn’t entirely clear from the young girl that couldn’t look you in the eye as she constantly chewed her fingernails, there was not an iPhone to be had anywhere in Calgary, perhaps even in the entire country.

So Doom resorted to calling Rogers from his old run of the mill mobile. This turned out to be the ultimate test of patience and keeping your cool. He hadn’t gone bonkers when the phone broke, he was slightly irked by the nail chewing girl but the Rogers’ agents on the other end of the line really tested his composure.  Ultimately he was on the phone with them for two hours and forty minutes.

A summery of what occurred;

Agent 1: No sir, we can’t replace your iPhone unless you are prepared to pay $$$. But we are out of them anyway. I’ll put you on hold as I transfer you

Agent 2: Sir, to cancel your data plan will cost you $100 even if you have no need for it anymore. I’ll put you on hold as I transfer you.

Agent 3: Sir, we can send you a new Samsung Smart phone instead.

Doom: Great.

Agent 3: I’ll put you on hold as I transfer you.

Agent 4: Sir, I’ve placed an order for a new Samsung mobile phone and it will be shipped to you at 17^th Avenue SW, Calgary.

Doom: But I don’t live on 17th Avenue anymore; let me give you my new address.

Agent 4: Sorry sir, but I don’t have the capability on my system to change addresses. I’ll put you on hold as I transfer you.

Agent 5: I can change your address sir, but the Samsung Smart phone has already been shipped out to 17^th Avenue.

Doom: But that’s ridiculous, the order was placed just five minutes ago.

Agent 5: I’ll put you on hold as I transfer you.

Agent 6: Sir, it’s confirmed the order has already been sent out to 17^th Avenue. We can cancel this order but to place another order, I’ll have to put you on hold as I transfer you.

Doom: No, no don’t do that. Can I get the tracking number for the package?

Agent 6: No sir, I don’t have that information. I’ll put you on hold as I transfer you.

Agent 7: Sir, we don’t have a tracking number, you’ll have to contact UPS in two days to get the number………

Me: Take a deep breath.

So I’m not sure what the moral of this tale might be. Perhaps it goes to show the benefit of practicing yoga on a carpet. Or perhaps it’s a test of being detached from material processions and emotional states. That takes a lot of practice, so I like to think that it demonstrates that if your prized possession is going to go kaput anyway, then practicing yoga will keep you calm in the face of difficulty rather than cursing and behaving like you’re in a bar-room brawl.

By the way; Doom finally got his Samsung smart phone but he still misses his iPhone. It’s a shame he’ll always associate his first yoga class with the demise of this bloody thing!